Journal 13 – Peer Revisions
Cameron –
I appreciate how thorough your resume is! I feel that this document gives a well-rounded understanding of who you are in a professional and personal setting. I would remember to try to condense some of this information, like in your summary, it states that you’re dedicated and your first quality is dedicated. While consistency is good, that’s two lines where other qualities could be highlighted or condensed. Similarly, with your work history, I like the detailed layout but the page split for the Wine and Spirits may be funny to the eye. I can relate to working many customer service jobs and it might be helpful to condense some of the similarities throughout the jobs. For example, taking orders and answering phone calls could be reworded or reorganized so employers don’t feel they are reading the same thing over.
Emily –
I appreciate how you played with the layout and fit so much important material in an organized manner. It’s interesting how although there are similarities throughout your experiences, each explanation shows you strengthened your current skills and gained new ones as well. It’s also great to see that you have a range of people that you’ve worked with from kids to adult reading audiences. Lastly, I’m not sure if this is my document but there’s one run-on sentence that goes to the next page at the end of your education. I’m sure if you play around with the format it could all be on one page. Overall, great document that shows your experiences and dedication.
Kit –
I appreciate the layout of your resume, it’s clear and digestible to the eye. You did a good job of using action verbs in your relevant skills and experiences, it definitely shows you have experience and awareness in your end objective. Since your experiences are a big chunk of your paper, it might be worth restructuring the order of your skills. For example, I would put the laboratory skills and safety standards closer to the top to strengthen the idea of experience. With your relevant coursework, it might be helpful to make a new section or bold the word coursework so it stands out more and has more impact. Finally, adding a brief description under your employment history could give employers a general idea of what you did and the skills you gained.
Journal 14 – Post Workshop Revisions
After workshopping our resumes, I received some positive feedback and helpful suggestions on how to improve my document. While the layout of my resume is neat, there are areas for expansion where I can include greater detail. For example, it was suggested that I dive deeper into my class experience. I can slim the list down, pick three relevant classes, and briefly describe how they would pertain to what I’m applying for. It was also suggested that I further highlight my outdoor experience, I could list my years of camping and any specific skills like pacing a hike or strength ability which are both requirements on my job description. My group discussed how some of our applications held physical requirements and how although that might be a small detail in the overall description, it can have a major impact in the application process. Finally, some smaller changes consist of picking concrete skills that positively represent my work ethic. My group talked about how while being organized and being able to multitask is a necessary skill, it’s very general and could make the employer ‘roll their eyes’. I have been referring to our action verb list which has helped me strengthen my description and condense my skills. Another small thing for my document is correcting and aligning my years and dates. Having consistency with the small things throughout your document shows you put time and effort into it. Overall, I’m pleased with my revisions and believe I have a solid resume for my current application.
